Grief does not resolve through avoidance. It settles beneath the surface.
When you say you don’t know what to do with it, that is not confusion. It is the limit of logic. Grief is not something to solve. It is something to experience.
Unexpressed grief does not disappear. It is held in the body and subconscious, often showing up as heaviness, numbness, anxiety, or disconnection. What people call moving on is often suppression.
Silence deepens the burden. Grief does not require an audience, but it does require acknowledgment. Without it, the mind continues looping what has not been processed.
The goal is not to figure grief out. It is to let it move.
In hypnotherapy, we help access and release what has been held without words. When the conscious mind softens, the subconscious can begin to process and integrate. The intensity shifts. What remains is connection without overwhelm.
Not knowing what to do with grief is honest. It is a beginning.
The question becomes, can I allow myself to feel this safely, without needing to resolve it all at once?
Former U.S. attorney for the District of New Mexico John J. Kelly was Epstein’s personal Power of Attorney on Zorro Ranch matters. This has never been publicly disclosed until now.
In March 1993, Jeffrey Epstein needed someone to close the deal on his purchase of Zorro Ranch, a 7,600-acre property he bought from then-sitting Governor Bruce King.
Epstein chose a prominent Albuquerque attorney named John J. Kelly, then partner-in-charge of the Albuquerque office of Hinkle, Cox, Eaton, Coffield & Hensley.
Documents in the federal Epstein files show that Kelly — who would be appointed the United States Attorney for the District of New Mexico by Bill Clinton nine months later — signed documents on Epstein’s behalf as his personal Power of Attorney for the purchase of Zorro Ranch and its state land leases.
On March 3, 1993, Epstein executed a Limited Power of Attorney appointing Kelly as his attorney-in-fact for the closing of the ranch purchase, including all state and federal leases on the property. The document is recorded in Santa Fe County and appears in the federal Epstein files as SDNY_GM_00173766.
On March 12, 1993, Epstein signed a sworn affidavit specifically authorizing Kelly to execute documents in connection with State Agricultural Lease No. GM-2791 — the grazing lease on public land surrounding Zorro Ranch. That document is SDNY_GM_00173767.
Three days later, on March 15, 1993, a letter on the letterhead of Hinkle, Cox, Eaton, Coffield & Hensley — Kelly’s own law firm — was sent to the New Mexico State Land Office confirming that Kelly had signed the leases as Epstein’s attorney-in-fact. In the eyes of the state of New Mexico, Kelly was Epstein.
Nine months later, Kelly was appointed United States Attorney for the District of New Mexico — the chief federal law enforcement officer in the state, the man with jurisdiction over Zorro Ranch and everything that happened there.
He held that office for seven years.
In 1996, Annie Farmer, then 16 years old, reported to the FBI that she had been sexually abused at Zorro Ranch by Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. According to reporting by the New York Times and the Guardian, the report, which protocol would require to be forwarded to Kelly’s offices, was never investigated.
No federal investigation of Zorro Ranch was ever opened during Kelly’s tenure.
In February 2024, when Albuquerque’s KOAT Target 7 asked Kelly about his presence in Epstein’s personal black book, Kelly declined an on-camera interview. He told the station he had met Epstein exactly once, at a meeting arranged by Governor Bruce King, at which Epstein expressed interest in buying land.
Asked why his name was in Epstein’s personal diary, Kelly said, “I have no clue. You’ll have to ask Mr. Epstein.”
That was not possible, however, as Mr. Epstein died in federal custody in 2019.
Documents in the federal Epstein files — bearing Kelly’s name, his signature, and his firm’s letterhead — directly contradict his account of barely knowing Epstein.
The black book, meanwhile, not only has Kelly’s professional contact information. It has his home address and phone number, and his wife’s phone number. (Epstein mistitles Kelly as Attorney General here, rather than US Attorney.)
Kelly did not disclose his role as Epstein’s Power of Attorney when asked by KOAT about his name being in Epstein’s black book.
ALISA WRITES is the only media outlet to discover and report on the personal and professional relationship between Kelly and Epstein. The article you’re reading now is its first public disclosure.
At the time Kelly made his statement to KOAT, he was serving as president of the City of Albuquerque’s ethics board.
Kelly, now retired, did not respond to a request for comment.
